{RELATIONSHIP} Dealing with cybersex bondage (2)

Cybersex is one of Satan’s initiatives to achieve marital failures. This is not God’s will. If you have already committed yourself to follow­ing Jesus Christ and the dev­il is cheating you with temp­tation of immorality through cybersex, do not let your sin cause you to doubt your sal­vation. Instead, deal with your sin. Confess it. This will help you. Then, rededicate your life to Christ. Accept your own failure and inadequacy and admit that you cannot over­come sin on your own.
The Apostle Paul understood the frustration and terrible hold that our inherited sin has on all descendants of Adam and Eve.
“For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do, this I keep on doing. Now, if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So, I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my in­ner being, I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my mem­bers. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death?” (Romans 7:15-24 NIV).
Addiction to pornography and other sexual sins are par­ticularly similar to a seduc­tive and powerful drug. Once it has a hold on you, it is very difficult to resist. In fact, it is virtually impossible to over­come on your own. You need God’s help and grace which are already available. You need humility and the Holy Spirit.
“Therefore, humble your­self under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you” (1Peter 5:6-7, Gala­tians 5:22-23).
If you are a married per­son involved in cybersex, you need a counsellor urgently. Se­crecy is often the biggest ene­my of Christians. Confession brings freedom and release from the bondage of an over­whelming sense of shame. If no one knows of your person­al moral failures, there is no one to be accountable to, or to help lift you up in prayer or encourage you. Don’t let your pride destroy you. (Proverbs 29:23, Mark 7:21, 2Chroni­cles 32:26). In an accounta­bility relationship, you choose a confidant that you can be honest and open up to con­cerning your addiction. Con­fess your sin (James 5:16). Be sure to choose someone of the same sex, older spiritually and by age. Preferably, select a discrete person with spirit­ual maturity; someone who has a helpful non-condemn­ing spirit.
There are internet filters that can help you block in­ternet pornography. They in­clude AFAfilter.com, Hedge.org, etc. Guard your heart and avoid danger zones.
“Guard your heart with all diligence” (Proverbs 4:23). If you give yourself to sinful fantasies and pursuits, you will become their slave (Ro­mans 6:16).
A simple change of habit can help you. If you are most tempted when you spend time on computer after people have gone to bed, then, make com­mitment to stay off computer during that time. Your spouse can help you too. If you know that a certain street you drive down causes you to lust due to certain establishments on it, or prostitutes that hang around, or alluring billboards, it will be wise to travel a dif­ferent route.
“Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your words” (Psalm 119:37).
Destroy all pornographic materials in your possession (Magazines, books, videos and computer files). Get rid of pornographic channels, inter­net and cable stations. Drop friends that encourage your temptation.
Besides, it is natural to have sexual urge at unexpected times, once you attain the age of accountability. However, sex is more of a thing of the mind. This is why the Bible says “Keep thy heart with all diligence;...” (Proverbs 4:23). Unfortunately, many peo­ple today feed their minds with trash. By the time you spend several hours on the internet browsing pictures of nude people and spend time reading pornograph­ic books and magazines and watch pornographic films, the only thoughts that will occu­py your mind are thoughts of having sex with someone. The implication is that you end up defiling your body with mas­turbation. From there, you start doing foolish things like lusting after every lady or guy that comes around you. You foolishly engage yourself in precious time wastage, chat­ting with such people. All these are done unconscious­ly. And then, you gradu­ate into imagining rape. You could even think of sleeping with a mad woman or guy on the streets and so on. When­ever someone says something reasonable, you try to link it to sex. You imagine sexual in­tercourse all the time. By the time you get to this level, you are on your way to destruc­tion. In fact, you are no long­er on the list of people that will achieve God’s purpose for you in life. This is because you have refused to guard your thoughts.
Are you in this condition? If yes, then you are under bondage. But you are a ma­jor part of the solution to this problem. Your deliverance is very possible. If you develop love for the word of God, the things of God and the people of God, all you would think about is how to please God all the time. You would imag­ine godly things, develop god­ly desires and above all, enjoy the peace of God. When you attain this level in Christi­anity, you would get close to what the Bible means when it talks about being dead to sin (Romans 6:11). You would hate sin with a passion. You now begin to flee from eve­ry appearance of pornog­raphy. When the confron­tation comes again, it is not only your spirit that would be willing to resist it. Your flesh would actually begin the re­sistance unconsciously before you know it.
Sexual intimacy is root­ed in God’s good creation and was divinely established for the joyful union of a man and woman within a mar­riage covenant of trust, fideli­ty and love, and for the prop­agation of the human family. The moment sex ceases to be a servant, it becomes a tyrant. Then, it requires spiritual bat­tle to conquer. May you have a successful marriage in Jesus name. (Amen).