{RELATIONSHIP} How do I handle a woman who keeps malice?

I have been married for more than a year now and it has been a good union. My only challenge, and pain, is that my wife loves to keep malice each time we have a misunderstand­ing and I don’t understand why. It hurts me a lot and I cannot stand being ignored especially by someone I love. Each time I try to talk to her, she raises her voice and we end up quarrel­ling even more and never get to reach the point of a resolution of even her keeping malice. I love this woman a lot but I feel that she is too hard-hearted and does not care how I feel. How can one handle such a woman?
–Chidi.
Dear Chidi,

I think you will need to make ex­tra efforts to understand your wife’s perspective. Women are that way, they seem to always want to make you feel guilty even when you are not. Marriage is a compromise and the biggest compromises and chal­lenges usually occur in the first one or two years in many marriages. It is about sacrifice, and in order to move forward, you both need to find a way to reach a resolution when there is a problem. Always find the right time to talk to her and make her see reason and she will change.
It is a good thing that you are willing to make things work in your marriage because you sound like you want them to work. My advice is that you continue to be patient and kind towards her. Continue to be the good man that you are but then, you need to make her see how much you are trying and that she needs to shift some ground to meet you in the middle. Marriage demands mutual respect, make her understand that.
Tell her in clear terms that you abhor her keeping malice and let her realize that she shouts when you broach the topic. Tell her in a firm tone that it is not acceptable to you. If you think she is going to shout you down again, then I advise you put it down in writing in the nicest way you can and ask her to read it when you are not there. She is human and has a heart, if you can put down your emotions in writing, she will get it. Women always think they are hard but believe, she will get it.