{RELATIIONSHIP} Can you kill your spouse?

For several weeks now, the mass media in Ni­geria have been awash with reports of hus­bands killing wives, wives killing husbands and so many unimaginable cases of do­mestic violence. Many people who read such reports have continued to analyse the in­cidents and judge the parties involved in such cases. You’d hear comments like: “That man is very wicked” or “That woman is a devil.”

You see, it is very easy to judge and condemn people who do wrong things. Yes, the devil is behind all these evils as he has unleashed an aggressive attack against the family institution. The pur­pose of this piece however, is to examine our ways and be sure we are not as guilty as the people we are condemning. SO, CAN YOU KILL YOUR SPOUSE? Before you give me a NO answer, put yourself on a scale.
When your spouse has a good dream and you do eve­rything to frustrate the actu­alization of that dream, you are a killer.
When you deny your spouse access to consum­mation of marriage in form of sexual pleasure and satis­faction, what are you doing? When you cheat your spouse in financial matters, you are already killing the person. An example is inflation of costs of certains item you collected with his or her hard-earned money to purchase. When you use employees like driv­er, houseboy or maid, garden­er, cook, and so on to extort money from your spouse, you are already injecting the per­son with a killer medicine.
When you harbour a grudge over an offence com­mitted against you by your spouse long ago, and refuse to forgive the offence after an apology, or claim to have for­given, but keep making ref­erence to that offence, you are an emotional tormentor and murder beckons. You are not even in a good relation­ship with God because Je­sus said: “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:15).
“Therefore, if you are of­feringyour gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then, come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24)
If you have an unforgiving spirit, not even your gift to God in form of church activ­ities or funding church pro­jects can bribe God to alter his word and Biblical stand­ards. If forgiveness is difficult for you, you are an enemy of God. You need repentance.
When you sell off a prop­erty jointly owned with your spouse without his or her knowledge and keep the pro­ceeds to yourself, you have shot a killer bullet.
When as a married person, you sign documents with prospects of financial bene­fits and in them, give a next-of-kin status to your young­er ones while your spouse is alive, you have dug your spouse’s grave ahead of your exit.
If your spouse has a health challenge or is heavy with pregnancy and you expect her or prevail on her to do stressful things that could threaten safety of her life or the baby, you are a murder suspect.
When you embark on a gi­gantic project such as house building, without the knowl­edge of your spouse, you are guilty. When your spouse never gets to know how much you earn as salary, or whether you ever get paid or not, you are guilty. When you enrol in an evil secret society and your spouse is not aware, you are a trust betrayer and her possible killer. When you have a top secret that your spouse does not know about you, such as having a child outside wedlock, you are worse than Judas Iscar­iot. You have a time bomb that will definitely explode; and when it does, somebody may die.
If you are a married person that physically assaults your spouse for whatever reason, you are simply warming up for a murder charge. If you are a wife that insults your husband (your head) in pub­lic or in secret without re­morse, then, there is nothing you cannot do to him. You are not a wife but a knife. You are already inviting the dev­il to help you achieve a mur­der incident either for you or against you.
If you are a married per­son that honours the counsel or words of some friends or third party more than that of your spouse in decisions that concern the marriage, you are guilty. If you are the type that frowns at any move to send feeding money to your spouse’s aged parents, exam­ine your ways.
When you deny your spouse access to sexual pleas­ure without a cogent reason, you are tempting the dev­il. “Do not defraud one an­other, except it be with mutu­al consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fast­ing and prayer and come to­gether again” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
If you are someone who tarnishes the image of your spouse before your children by deliberately giving them the impression that he or she is a bad person, you are not far from a murderer.
If you break your marital vows by having extra-mari­tal affairs, you are a betray­er, worse than Judas Iscari­ot. The list is endless.
So, CAN YOU KILL YOUR SPOUSE? If your an­swer is YES, you need to re­pent, confess your sins, for­sake them and ask for God’s forgiveness.
Then, your marriage shall be a blessing and a testimony in Jesus name. (Amen).